I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize