it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
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Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
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Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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