Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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