i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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