she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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