o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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