dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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