we made out on top of his cat.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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