Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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