I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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