I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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