the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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