he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
