honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
