I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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