i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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