He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize