I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
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You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
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I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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