all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
