I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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