I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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