oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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