ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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