put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
