Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize