What a fucking waste of an outfit
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
