I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
