After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
