took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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