I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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