Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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