don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
