And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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