So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
