I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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