Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
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The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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