sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
