Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
