My sheets look like a crime scene.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
