forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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