You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
did i walk over a car last night?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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