So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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