Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
