Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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