someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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