you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
