Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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