Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize