No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The uberlube is also flammable
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
