The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My pussy is not your playground.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
