I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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