We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
