I think i sorta joined a cult last night
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
