Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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