Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
ok first of all what the fuck
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
