On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
