thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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