have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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