Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
