Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
