I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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