My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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