loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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