talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wish I only lived at night.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
