Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
